Last updated on March 7th, 2024 at 09:20 pm
At the Isle of Wight festival this weekend, singer Anne Marie took what was called an emotional moment to pay tribute to single mothers with her song, Rockabye.
The song, made in collaboration with Clean Bandit and Sean Paul, describes the struggles of a single mother who has to do anything she can to make ends meet and provide for her child.
A Political Message
Grace Chatto of Clean Bandit said on an official Labour Party live stream in 2019 that the song had a political message and is “about single mothers who are left behind by the Tory system and forced to take desperate measures just to feed their children.”1
But are those “desperate measures” she and the song refers to, just another damaging smear on the reputations of single mothers across the nation?
Supporting the Stigma and Age-Old Stereotypes
According to the lyric “she works the nights by the water”, and the music video depicting an exotic dancer, the suggestion is that the single mother in the song must turn towards sex work to be able to provide for her daughter. And I find that problematic.
As a single parent, that doesn’t speak to me at all. Not at any point in my struggles as a single mum has it seemed like a good or a necessary idea to put my safety, health, or personal morals at risk by turning to sex work to pay the bills.
Nor do I personally know any single mothers who have done this, and over my years as a single parent blogger, I have met and spoken to many.
Thanks but no thanks, Anne Marie
Single mums have faced a stigma for a long time, that we can’t work and we don’t work in ‘respectable’ jobs. That we’re uneducated, unwilling, or unable to provide for our children in conventional ways like a parent in a standardised 2 parent household would.
But funnily enough, the single mums I know, are teachers, managers, degree holders, business owners, and many more things. I didn’t meet them when we were all strolling up and down the docks looking for the next paying customer, contrary to what Anne Marie, Sean Paul and Clean Bandit seem to enjoy imagining.
I’m not suggesting that there are no single mums out there who this after-dark story rings true for. But I am saying, if this is our only representation in mainstream pop culture, I don’t want it.
We’ve come too far, and worked too hard to be depicted and described in such an outdated and cliched way, in my opinion.
If pop stars want to help single parents and make a political statement to see positive change, then they might consider making a statement about childcare costs, workplace flexibility, and the ridiculous stigmas that we’re facing, and they are unfortunately adding to.
What’s your opinion on the song? Leave a comment.
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