Are You Ready to be a Single Mother?

Last updated on August 15th, 2023 at 11:11 pm

Chances are if you’ve landed on this article entitled “Are you ready to be a single mother?”, you’re thinking of leaving.

Being a single mother requires courage and resilience, and it takes an abundance of love to raise a child on your own. But it also brings joy, fulfilment, and growth to you and your child. Whether you are a single mother by choice or by circumstance, you may wonder if you are ready to take on this responsibility. In this post, we will share some of the questions you should ask yourself before becoming a single mother, and some of the resources and support you can access to help you along the way.

Questions to ask yourself before becoming a single mother…

Becoming a single mother is a life-changing decision that should not be taken lightly. You should consider various aspects of your situation and your goals, such as:

• Why do you want to be a single mother? There are many reasons why women choose or end up being single mothers, such as divorce, separation, death, abandonment, abuse, infertility, or personal preference. Be clear about your motivation and expectations for becoming a single mother, and how they align with your values and priorities.
  
• How will you become a single mother? There are different ways to become a single mother, such as adoption, foster care, surrogacy, donor insemination, or natural conception. Ideally you should research the pros and cons of each option, and the legal, financial, and emotional implications involved. If applicable, consult with professionals, such as lawyers, doctors, counsellors, or agencies, who can guide you through the process and provide you with information and advice.
  
• How will you support yourself and your child? Being a single mother can be financially challenging, especially if you have to rely on one income or benefits. Have a realistic budget and plan for your expenses, such as housing, food, clothing, childcare, education, health care, and entertainment. Where possible, aim to have some savings or insurance for emergencies or unexpected costs. Explore the sources of income and assistance available to you, such as grants, loans, scholarships, tax credits, or subsidies.
  
• How will you balance work and family? Being a single mother can be demanding on your time and energy. You may have to juggle work and family responsibilities, and cope with stress, fatigue, or guilt. Think about how you might be able to have a reliable and affordable childcare solution that meets your child’s needs and preferences. You should also consider working full-time or part-time, depending on your financial situation, career aspirations, and personal satisfaction. You can read more about the benefits and challenges of working full-time or part-time as a single parent here.
  
• How will you care for yourself and your child? Being a single mother can be emotionally challenging, especially if you have to deal with loneliness, isolation, or stigma. It helps to have a strong and supportive network of family, friends, or other single parents who can offer you help, advice, or companionship. 

Resources and support for single mothers 

Becoming a single mother is not easy, but it is not impossible either. There are many resources and support available to help you prepare for and cope with this role, such as:

Websites: 

There are many websites that offer information, advice, or inspiration for single mothers, such as Single Mother Survival Guide 

This website features articles, podcasts, courses, and events for single mothers on topics such as parenting, dating, travelling, and self-care.

Just-Us-Two.com This website provides resources, tips, and stories for single parents on issues such as money, work, health, and education.

Books:

There are many books that share insights, experiences, or strategies for single mothers, such as:

The Kickass Single Mom: This book by Emma Johnson empowers single mothers to build wealth, create happiness, and find love.

Happy Single Parenting: This book by Chantelle Lewis helps single parents to overcome challenges, embrace opportunities, and enjoy life.

Raising the Kid You Love With the Ex You Hate: This book by Edward Farber advises single parents on how to co-parent effectively, Respectfully, and peacefully with their ex-partners.

Groups:

There are many groups that offer support, connection, or activities for single mothers, such as:

Gingerbread: This is the leading charity for single-parent families in the UK. It provides advice, services, and campaigns for single parents on various matters.

Meetup: This is a platform that connects people with similar interests or goals. It hosts events, groups, and communities for single parents to socialize, learn, or have fun.

Single Parent Travel Club: This is a group that organizes trips, holidays, and adventures for single parents and their children.

Find dates and locations for all these groups’ events here on 
Events for Single Parents Near Me

Retrain your thoughts towards a more positive head space

Take it from someone who’s personally felt all the fears and doubts that come with becoming a single mother. They were all unfounded. If I could have changed my negative thinking at the time, I could have saved myself a lot of unnecessary worry. Here are my tips for how to rethink your situation;

I’m going to be lonely becomes > I’m going to gain some independence

“I won’t know what to do with myself” becomes > “I’m going to have more time to do what I want and remember what makes me happy”

“I will struggle financially” becomes > “There are dedicated resources in place to support me”

“The split will damage my kids” becomes > “Actually, toxic or unhappy home environments damage kids”

Just Us Two

Beat the stigma

Another reason that someone might be reluctant to leave is a sheer aversion to being branded a “single mother”.

There are some that have ill-judged, preconceived ideas about single mums. However, they are completely redundant, outdated, and utterly irrelevant to how you should live your life. Don’t waste any time worrying about what people are going to think. Just because you’re a single parent, doesn’t mean you’re not going to be able to do a good job alone.

It’s worth remembering, that no matter what you do as a woman – you are judged. Judged for going back to work, judged for staying at home. Criticised for waiting for hand and foot on your husband, criticised for walking out. Someone will always have an unsolicited opinion, so you may as well go ahead and do whatever you want anyway.

Helpful organisations

For anyone who does decide to take the step into single parenthood, there’s no need to go it alone. Seek support from the available resources listed below, but also make sure to be transparent with your friends and family if you’re struggling. Building a good support system around you is going to be integral to keeping your mental well-being prioritised. Having help is never a bad thing, so don’t be ashamed to ask for it when you find yourself with your hands full – it does happen!

Gingerbread – A charity organisation aimed at giving practical advice to single parents
Relate – An information hub for relationship advice and relationship support services such as counselling
Women’s Aid – If you’re in an abusive relationship, you’ll know that the abuse often ramps up when you try to leave.