Last updated on April 24th, 2022 at 06:44 pm
I ask myself all the time how I could be a better organised mum. I’m a single parent, I work, and I co-parent with my son’s dad. Life can be a little hectic. It’s always beneficial, for anyone, to find ways to be better and live better. That’s probably why I was so drawn to James Clears book, Atomic Habits.
But before I get into how that book has been a game-changer for me…
Let me ask you a simple question, are you a coffee or a tea person?
I drink tea. But why do I like it? Maybe it’s the caffeine kick, maybe it’s the relaxation I feel when drinking something warm.
Perhaps my body craves the protein boost of the milk? Somehow feeding my hunger and thirst all at once? Or maybe it’s just a good excuse to take a two-minute break in the day.
Whatever the reason, one thing I know for sure is that I’m a habitual tea drinker. And I know myself well enough to know that I’ve formed certain habits that I will perform like a ritual every day.
My Usual Routine as a Single Mum
On a weekday, I will get up, brush my teeth, wash, dress, go downstairs and make myself a cup of tea. I’ll drink it and then go back upstairs to wake my son and start his routine. It’s go-go-go until we both get out the door to go to nursery dropoff, then work.
But on a weekend? It’s a little different. Particularly on Sundays, like today, when my Son is at his dad’s house and I have the house to myself for a couple of hours before he comes back at noon.
On a Sunday morning, I will typically get up, go downstairs, make my cup of tea and bring it to the sofa.
And that’s it.
Honestly, once my butt hits that sofa with a cup of tea in hand, I can waste hours. Just watching TV, and scrolling through my phone.
I might get up to make something to eat, but I’ll probably just go right back to that sofa. Continuing whatever I’ve started on Netflix. Probably also picking that phone back up again. And, before I know it, I’ve wasted another hour.
How Atomic Habits Made me a More Organised Mum in Just One Sunday…
Now, as a Single Mum who works, I could certainly argue that some time to chill on the couch is more than justified. As I’m pretty busy the rest of the week.
But honestly, there are better things I could be doing with those few hours on a Sunday morning.
Sundays are a great day of the week to reset, organise, and prep for the upcoming week. As a single parent, I do need to make efforts to keep my home clean, keep on top of chores and manage all the grown-up stuff.
So that’s why I had a huge brainwave when I started reading Atomic Habits by James Clear.
He said a very simple, yet profoundly game-changing thing, which was this:
“Many habits occur at decisive moments – choices that are like a fork in the road – and either send you in the direction of a productive day or an unproductive one.”
“A habit can be completed in just a few seconds, but it can also shape the actions taken, for minutes or even hours afterward.”
As well as talking further about decisive moments, Clear also discusses the art of what he calls habit stacking, and also how to prime your environment and make simple switches that will lead you away from an unproductive path, while pushing you down a productive one.
And that got me thinking about my Sunday morning cup of tea…
It’s a little action, that shapes the hours that come after it, and pushes me time and time again towards having an unproductive day.
So I decided, today, I’m not going to make the tea first. I’ll still allow myself to have it, but later.
I got up, as usual, went downstairs as usual, but instead of making tea, I poured a big glass of water.
Rather than taking it to the sofa I just placed it on the kitchen table. I put a podcast on and set my phone down.
The result was amazing.
Between 8.45 and 10 am on this new-habit Sunday I..
Filled the washing machine. ✔️
Filled the dishwasher. ✔️
Cleaned the kitchen sides. ✔️
Recycled a week’s worth of post. ✔️
Folded clean clothes. ✔️
Then I made breakfast. ✔️
And then I made the tea. ✔️
I was able to sit down, eat, drink, get my caffeine hit, relax, and all the while know that I was being super productive with my morning.
And in the spirit of my newfound understanding of mastering the decisive moment, I wasn’t eating my breakfast or drinking my tea on the sofa. I was sitting at the kitchen table, still listening to my podcast.
Not getting invested in some TV show that I would then want to finish, or start the next one of, or get bored of and end up falling down a black hole of phone-scrolling.
It really is true how James Clear says, tiny moments can shape the rest of our mornings, evenings or the entire day.
In a moment of true serendipity, the washing machine dinged its little Korean National Anthem ditty to say “done” just as I finished breakfast.
So, I carried on with my tasks, and my flow wasn’t broken.
By 12.00 when my son arrived home, the laundry was done and hung up, the dishwasher was filled with clean dishes, the kitchen was clean, living room surfaces dusted, and I’d bleached the downstairs bathroom, vacuumed and tidied up.
The entire downstairs of my house was looking better than it had done in a long, long time.
(“What about upstairs?”, you say? Ok, readers, one thing at a time. I said I was forming good habits – not performing miracles.)
How Being a Better Organised Mum Will Help Me
So by applying a few simple life hacks from this amazing book, the whole day was changed. All the time I would have previously wasted by watching telly and lazing around, was salvaged. I gained time in my upcoming week by getting things done with those few free hours this morning.
And it didn’t feel hard to do. At all.
And all that time saved, is time gained with my son. When our home is clean and organised, that benefits both of us. When I am happier and less stressed and feel good about myself and my productivity…? I can be a better mum. Being a more organised mum helps me do that.
It just goes to show that there are still many good lessons to be learned in life. And I’m so glad that I picked up the Atomic Habits book and learned this one. Habitual moments do determine the path you take, but more importantly, you’re not a slave to those habits.
Did you enjoy reading this post about becoming a more organised mum? You might enjoy: How to be a successful single mother.
