How to Build an Effective Support System (Single Mum With No Family)

Last updated on August 15th, 2023 at 11:11 pm

No, I’m not talking about your bra, although that is pretty important too. Building a support system – especially as a single mum with no family to help – is an integral and vastly beneficial pursuit. It’s something you’ll need to learn if you want to raise a child without facing burnout or overwhelm.

Here’s how to build a solid network to support you in your parenting journey…

Isolation increases depression – a fact that some of us will have learned throughout our little pandemic nightmare recently. And a lack of help can lead to burnout, especially when you’re a mum. Even more so if you’re a single mum!

We’ve all heard the saying that “It takes a village to raise a child”, so it’s important, whatever your situation, that you create a good social circle around you and your kids.

Filling your lives with positive influences, strong friendships, and helping hands sounds good, doesn’t it? So how do you start?

As a Single Mum With No Family, Who Should My Support System Include?

A good support system should be wide enough to cover different bases that surround your life, but small enough that the relationships can be properly maintained.

A friend – someone to confide in, have fun with and share a belly laugh over a brew or a cheeky Gin.

A neighbour – someone close by in your neighbourhood who could be a helpful saviour in an emergency.

Teacher/nursery worker – keep up a good relationship with the person who takes care of your child in an educational setting.

Your boss/a colleague – being a working mum can be tough, having someone in the workplace who can be understanding of your responsibilities is a must.

A trusted male role model – teachers, neighbours and friends might stack up to make a lot of female influences in your child’s life. It’s important for your child to have good male role models too, outside of the family. For example, a sports coach.

Reconnect With People

Strengthening bonds with existing friends and maybe even extended family should be your first step. As we step out of the shadow of Covid restrictions, it’s likely that some relationships might need some TLC.

I’m sure a lot of you reading will be excited to now be back to the norm of Birthday parties, pub lunches, garden gatherings and all the other ways families love to get together, and you don’t need any tips on that from me!

A Single Mum With No Family Needs to Learn How to Reach Out

If it’s new friends you seek, you may be the one who needs to initiate plans. Get comfortable with being vulnerable!

Messaging mums on mum-friend apps like Peanut or Mush can be nerve-wracking. But just remember that everyone else on there feels the same. We live in a socially awkward modern world. People spend so much time hiding behind a screen that we’ve almost forgotten how to socialise!

Asking someone new to meet up with you and your kid in the park can seem like setting yourself up for rejection. However, everyone is waiting for someone else to make the first move. Just bite the bullet, send the message and most likely the mumma on the receiving end will be as pleased as punch to hear from you.

Give and Take

Try not to forget that your support system, although created for your benefit, is not just all about you. Show a genuine interest in peoples lives and be prepared to give as well as take, otherwise you enter into “user” territory.

The trick to creating genuine, strong bonds with people is to do favours for each other. And the beautiful part is that you don’t even have to go out of your way to do it.

If you have someone who child minds for you once a month, but you know that you don’t get many chances to child mind for them – that’s OK. If it’s not within your possibilities, that’s not your fault.

As long as you find other ways that are more suitable for you to return the favour, it’s fine. For example, express your gratitude and keep the relationship healthy by bringing that person homegrown veggies from your garden, leftover goodies from the bakery you work at, or help them with the school run when they need it!

Try New Things

Make smart volunteering choices. Do you have a child with extra needs or medical issues?

Volunteer in that specific field to put yourself in touch with people who might;
a.) Be going through the same thing, or
b.) Have some helpful expertise or resources that could help you one day

What is a healthy relationship?

Perhaps it seems like a silly question. But some of us haven’t seen many examples of healthy relationships in our lives. So how do we know what one is?

You might like a person, but if they frequently let you down or flake on your plans, they’re not a good choice for your support system. People who build you up, put in the work and provide positivity to your life are who you need.

Good support systems run on respect, mutual effort, and understanding. Once you have one in your life, you’ll notice that overall, everything is better. The people in our lives are the key to our happiness! Love and good relationships give satisfaction in abundance.

So, what are you waiting for?! Get out there and forge those bonds, you’ll thank yourself for it.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, you’ll also enjoy ARE YOU READY TO BE A SINGLE MOTHER?