Dating a Single Mum: Best Advice for Making it Work

Dating a single mum is different from dating a truly singular person, for sure. But it’s not a bad thing – at all! On the contrary, there are benefits to dating a single mum that you may not have thought of.

Image source @Chattr

Here’s a quick 10-tip guide on dating a single mum, and how to approach a relationship with her and her kids…

1. “My kids come first” is not a threat, it’s a plea.

She’s not saying she’ll never respect you. She’s asking you to please understand that her children are the air that she breathes and they are non-negotiable. It’s a testament to her loyalty and huge capacity for love!

2. Players need not apply.

Seriously, just don’t bother. She ‘aint got the time, and quite frankly you probably just need to grow up.

3. She’s not going to settle for less, out of desperation.

If she was desperate, she’d still be with the deadbeat dad or the man who wasn’t right for her before! Single mums are some of the least desperate women since they already know how to get by just fine on their own. If anything, they sometimes struggle with giving up their independence when a new man comes into their life, so be prepared for that.

4. There might be some trauma in her past.

There’s a chance that maybe the relationship with her kids’ father was a turbulent one, that may have left some residual feelings. There might be a lack of trust on her part, but the fact that she’s willing to date again means she’s working on it, and has seen something in you that says you’re the right one to trust. Be honest from day dot to keep her feeling positive about your relationship.

5. Don’t have preconceived ideas about her kids.

“They won’t like me”, “they’ll want me to be their replacement dad”, “I don’t like kids”. You really don’t know until you know. So just focus on your dates first and let the rest happen naturally.

6. Spontaneous plans will not work.

Just like someone who has a lot of career responsibility can’t just drop everything for a surprise trip away, neither can someone with kids. You can still do the trip, just plan it!

7. Dating a single mum comes with many bonuses.

You already get to see her family values from the off, and you can talk about how your plans for the future match up (or don’t match) without worrying about ‘coming on too strong’. She’ll want to know.

8. Yes the ex (the kids dad) is in the picture…

…No, there’s nothing to worry about. For the sake of the kids, they need to talk. For the health of the kids, they need to be friendly. It’s not a sign of any residual feelings, it’s just maturity and necessity. No jealousy needed.

9. The connection is what counts

The most important thing to consider when dating is the personal compatibility between you and the other person. If you have chemistry, you’re clicking, you get butterflies, there’s a spark – those are things you can’t force! You can’t recreate those feelings with someone who’s “good on paper”.

10. It’s worth the effort…

Some of the happiest families, are blended families. Together by choice, not chance, working on your relationship with a single mum could turn out to be the best decision you ever made. Create a future full of love and laughter – have your happily ever after with the woman of your dreams, and her little ones too.

Thanks for reading! If you thought this article was spot-on, share it with your friends on social media. Share the link;
just-us-two.com/dating-a-single-mum-10-things-you-need-to-know