Last updated on March 27th, 2022 at 10:21 pm
When the time comes to introduce your new boyfriend to your kids, it can be a really daunting moment in your relationship. Is there a ‘right way to do it’, or not? And with first impressions meaning a lot, it’s going to be a meeting that you really want to go well.
So how do you do it? When? Where? Hopefully, this article will answer all those questions for you and more…
Introduce Your New Boyfriend to Your Kids On A Day Out
The general consensus among many relationship experts is that the first meeting should centre around an activity. Something fun and low stress, that keeps everyone entertained while eliminating the need for too much serious chat or awkward silence is ideal.
Some good ideas for a casual first meeting;
- Bowling
- Mini golf
- A park trip
- Soft play centre
What Should I Introduce Him As?
This is going to take a little common sense, as the situation will be different for each family and is also largely dependent on the age of your kids. It could be helpful to first introduce your partner as a friend in order to make the situation a little more relaxed and less confusing for little ones. However, your older kids aren’t going to buy this and might feel patronised by the ‘act’ if you try to lie.
Keep displays of affection to an absolute minimum, if any at all. This first meeting should really be your chance to observe how your kids and your partner are getting along and could be influential on the future success of the partnership.
A Sensitive Situation: How To Handle It
Be aware that if your kids have been used to having you all to themselves for a long time, this sudden change could be a little difficult to adjust to. They might feel some jealousy or anxiety now that there’s someone else in the picture, so it’s important to be sensitive to that.
Don’t just sweep their feelings under the rug and hope they’ll adjust – be open to having an honest chat with them before, or after the first meeting. Even both! If they need it. Let them ask you questions, and reassure them that they’re still going to get quality one on one time with you.
Find out the interesting results to our poll, below ⬇️
How Do I Know it’s the Right Time?
You don’t want to introduce your kids to every person you date. Hold fire and wait until you’re with someone who you really feel good about! And realistically, until you’ve had enough serious conversations with them to make you think this could go the distance.
If this person seems commited, stable, genuine and positive, those are good indicators that this might be the right guy.
It’s a good idea to wait until the initial honeymoon phase is over, for several reasons. You want to make sure you’ve seen the real them, maybe even experienced your first lovers tiff, first. Sometimes when we’re caught up in that initial whirlwind of smitten feelings, red flags can be missed or ignored.
How long would you wait to introduce a new boyfriend to your kids? We polled over 1000 mums…
And we asked them, ‘How long would you wait before you’d introduce your new boyfriend to your kids?’.
The responses started to roll in fast, and there were many opinions. Of course, every family situation is different. Some said their kids are too young or too old to care or understand, some said they got into relationships with family friends their kids already knew.
A few even said they wouldn’t want to waste time with a person who didn’t get on with their children, so they’d rather introduce them ASAP.
Here are the overall results in numbers that we can make more sense out of…
Find more relationship content here!
Helpful top tips;
Ask your kids what they think! Thumbs up? Great! Thumbs down? Lets talk about why…
If your new partner has no kids of their own, help them out if it seems like they don’t know what to do or say around your kids! Be supportive and patient while they get the hang of it…
Plan a day with just you and your kids the day after they first meet your new partner. Reassure them that it’s not always going to be about spending time with the partner now…
Here is a helpful link for talking to your children about relationships, separation and family issues.
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