Last updated on June 18th, 2023 at 08:27 pm
Are you wondering whether or not it would be better for you, as a single mum, to date a single dad? Perhaps you think life is hectic enough as it is, without throwing another persons kids in the mix. Or maybe it could be just the thing you need? As surely to date a single dad is to date someone who is truly on the same wavelength…? Just-Us-Two.com has done a little digging into what women really think and feel about dating single dads and has asked 50 ladies their opinions and experiences…
Let’s start with a shot of honesty – the modern dating game sucks. Society is on its knees when it comes to romance, we’re swiping left and right on Tinder, Bumble and a whole host of other dating app dives looking for ‘the one’ based on pictures and a few choice words.
It’s a miracle that anyone is able to find true love in a day and age where you have to select a partner like a meal off a menu – but let me tell you, it does happen.
The problem is, that we’re all so shook by the take-it-or-leave it nature of online dating, that we’ve become obsessed with first impressions, “red flags”, and ‘the perfect partner on paper’.
One of the main concerns of single parents when they’re setting up online dating profiles is when and how they should make it clear that they’re a single parent.
Lots of people worry about being rejected for their single parent status – but what if there was a dating app where everyone on it is a single parent?
What would be the pros and the cons of single parents just dating each other?
Whenever I have questions about the lifestyles and opinions of other women like me, I turn to my trusty single mum Facebook groups for a good old natter about all things love, solo parenting and experiences.
I asked 50 women whether they prefer to date a single dad, rather than someone without kids, and here’s what they said;
21 women said they would prefer to date a single dad.
Their reasons for this: generally, these women were of the belief that a single dad would understand their lack of free time more, put less pressure on them to meet up constantly or spontaneously, and that a single dad would be more compassionate about children.
There’s a longer, more detailed list of some of the reasons women gave at the bottom of this article. Keep reading or scroll down to help make up your mind…
18 women said they’d prefer not to date anyone at all.
Their reasons: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. These mum’s were simply happy not dating, feeling like they wanted to enjoy their time by themselves and not looking for any drama or heartbreak!
12 women said that they would go for single men with no kids only.
Their explanations: Some of these single mummies had said that they’d tried dating a man with kids in the past and they were met with confrontation from the mother of his kids. Some also said that if both partners have kids, it’s hard to get any time together.
Reading all the comments and opinions from the question was such a huge insight into the dating lives of single mum’s, I learned a lot. I couldn’t help but think though, when I read a few of the comments, that some of the negative issues certain women had faced when dating single dads maybe wasn’t about the fact that he was a single dad, it was just the guy as an individual.
If a man has lots of issues with his ex partner – kids or no kids – you’ll need to consider whether it’s likely that he’s just a toxic person. And people like that should be avoided in any case. If he’s not the problem and she is, then it’s up to you as an individual how much you want to risk your own peace for a person who means something to you or might be a significant part of your life in the future.
Having a lack of free time together probably is the most understandable con. But if you’re truly looking for someone for a long term commitment, some patience and understanding may be enough to see you through an initial period of difficulty seeing each other.
It can be tough to wrap your head around the change of dating before kids vs after.
Once upon a time, the early days of a relationship was all about the two of you, wrapped up in the honeymoon phase spending tonnes of time with only each other throughout the day and night. To go from that to dating and only being able to see each other once a week or maybe once every two weeks, can feel like a struggle.
It can be especially difficult if you’re dating a dad with shared custody, who may not have as much time for you.
You may worry that you won’t be able to forge a proper bond or keep the spark alive like that. But maybe all you need is a shift in perspective.
Delayed gratification often has the biggest benefits in the end. To focus on your ultimate goals (love, strong partnership, marriage, a blended family) would be better in this situation, than to focus on the short term goals (dates, budding romance, sex).
If you’re looking for true lasting love, that’s a marathon, not a race.
Reasons why our 21 women said they were more than happy to date a single dad…
“They’re more understanding about your lack of time and won’t expect you to make plans spontaneously…”
“I find that single dads are more compassionate about kids, and it’s great to have someone around who knows how to help take care of a child…”
“I’m done having any more babies! So it’s nice to expand your family by blending it with someone else’s slightly older kids…”
“As long as the man I date is a good guy, cares about me and my children and treats us right, it doesn’t bother me if he’s got children…”