Finding your feet as a first time parent can be trickier than you perhaps thought. Are you wondering if you should adopt a particular parenting style to achieve the goals you want? Or have you found yourself adhering to practices you said you never would, like co-sleeping? You may have fallen into a parenting style category completely by accident! Read this article to make better sense of the direction your parenting journey is taking…
Gentle Parenting Style
If your style is gentle parenting, you’ll probably be a fan of the Sarah Ockwell-Smith books. You’ll adopt a style that’s very empathic towards your child’s needs and natural rhythms. Patience is your best virtue, and a value for connection and individuality comes before order and conformity. You’re more likely to change your schedule to fit around your child rather than the other way around.
Authoritative
Authoritative parents have high standards, but at the same time are highly responsive to their child’s emotional needs. They allow independence but never forget to listen to their child. There’s a strong sense of mutual respect – but it must be earned on both sides. Clear limits are set, but they aim to be reached by reasoning and understanding. It’s not about blind obedience or negative discipline.
Montessori
Following the teachings of Maria Montessori, this parenting style is child-led and holds high regard for everyday life skills. From about the age of 1+ the child is empowered by being included in the daily household routine. It’s about setting safe limits and then giving the child the freedom to figure things out on their own. Hands-on learning and muted praise are big characteristics of this style.
Attachment Parenting Style
This type of parenting centres around very specific practices such as breastfeeding, co-sleeping and responsiveness. An attachment-style parent doesn’t believe in ever leaving a child to cry. They will aim to create a secure bond with their baby through frequent touch, closeness and sensitivity. These parents frequently practice baby-wearing, shared bathing and baby massage.
Authoritarian “because I said so” parents demand unquestioning obedience from their children.
Permissive parents have a more “kids should be kids” approach and don’t believe in setting many boundaries at all.
Does Parenting Style Really matter?
The studies would suggest it does. The parenting style you chose can have an impact on your children’s level of self-esteem, their resourcefulness and their levels of responsibility.
But rather than choosing a style based on the potential results, it’s more often the case that we just fall into a category of parenting based on our personalities and how we ourselves were raised.
Essential Reading Material
Following the above point, it’s an excellent idea to do some self reflection upon becoming a parent. It’s beneficial to have a full understanding of what kind of parent you might be, why, and how to potentially improve it.
The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read is a book that people just can’t stop recommending. Almost everyone who reads it has a series of lightbulb moments, thinking “so that’s why I am how I am”… It’s instant therapy and an amazing tool to help you become a better parent.
Raising Boys is a worldwide bestseller that’s particularly great for Dads to read as it will tell them a lot about themselves, not just their sons
The Right Book for Your Style
I only recommend books on Just-Us-Two.com that I have personally read and found informative!
Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, you may also enjoy PHONE ADDICTED MUM? HOW I IMPROVED MY PARENTING IN ONE WEEKEND