They say be careful what you wish for, and they might be right… When I had just started my maternity leave for my first baby back in 2019, I wished that there was some way I could stay on leave for longer than a year but SOMEHOW still get paid. Then there was a global pandemic, millions of people got told to stay at home – and I got put on furlough. I mean, my wish came true but, damn. I definitely had a less drastic and somber situation in mind.
The Pandemic Struck During My Maternity Leave…
I was one of the lucky ones in the sense that nobody in my family was affected by Covid. When we look back on this in years to come, I’ll never have the cheek to say that it was a particularly difficult time for me – for that reason.
Despite struggling on my own with a 7-month-old baby for several months before the support bubble rules were introduced, I’ll always be grateful for that extra time I got with my son.
Being at home full-time to watch him take his first steps and say his first words (with 80% of my salary to boot) was a privilege many women never have.
Facing Loneliness Head-On
I think the pandemic was a contributing factor to the ending of my relationship with my child’s father. We were on/off, trying to make it work but fighting a lot. It was confusing and difficult to know what was the right thing to do. Stay together for the baby? Or leave each other, for the baby?
When the news of the first lockdown came, like most people we were quite bewildered by the idea of having to isolate. I asked him, shall we do it together, or apart? Make or break. We chose break.
Those first few weeks were rough. I can honestly say I’d never felt loneliness like it. Isolated in a house with a baby under one year old, whilst coping with a breakup is not something I’d recommend in a hurry!
But, I survived.
How can you grow in life, if you’re never challenged?
My son was my saviour at this time. Being his mum is the best thing I’ve ever experienced, and no global disaster or relationship drama could stop me from smiling when he smiled at me!
Pandemic or not, I had a job to do and that was to be a mum. It gave me purpose and distraction when I needed it most.
One of the Many Made Redundant Due to Covid…
Unfortunately, my luck did run out in early 2021 when the company I worked for made the decision to make redundancies. My job was severed.
When I made the decision to have a baby, I had a good job, a partner of several years, savings, and no reason to worry about the expense of parenthood.
Now, less than two years later I was on my own with no job to speak of, in the middle of an economic crisis and with my savings plummeting fast.
Cue my anxiety. This would be a good time to panic, right?
But let me tell you why I’m not going to panic.
Every time over the past few years when I’ve been faced with change, I’ve felt fear. But every time, I’ve risen to the occasion.
I wondered how on Earth I’d even still be good at my job while navigating my first pregnancy, but I did that. How would I cope with giving birth? Pretty well actually. Would I survive the sleep deprivation of a new baby? Still alive. Being a first-time parent, alone in lockdown? Smiled. Every. Day.
Of course, there were hard moments, and of course, there were tears sometimes. But time stops for no man (and certainly no woman). You just have to keep on.
In the words of Kim Kardashian “I didn’t come this far, just to come this far.”
The Power of Positive Thinking
I’m choosing to see my job loss as an opportunity. A chance to reassess my life, my goals, and to redirect myself towards doing what I actually want to do.
I made a vision board and filled it with quotes, pictures of things that match my life goals, anything to help me manifest the things that I want and deserve. There was a quote on Pinterest that said “I’m entering the most successful decade of my life”. Since I’m turning 30 this year, it felt like I was meant to see that.
The vision board helped me realise that I wanted to take my career into my own hands and change the environment from a busy fashion studio to my own home office, as a freelance writer.
5 months on I’ve started a blog that is growing every day! I’ve also had my work published in a magazine. And although I’m still adjusting to the independence of working for myself – I can honestly say I’ve never felt more satisfaction, or indeed, passion for my work.
I get to shape my hours around my son, be a mummy on my own terms and ditch the guilt that I ultimately would have felt if I hadn’t lost my job.
Being a working mum, especially when you’re a solo parent, is a constant obstacle course. But this pandemic has taught me that my mental agility is good enough to leap any kind of hurdles life puts in my way.
Especially with the support of other mothers from online communities behind me, too. We’re all on a journey. When the road gets steep, it’s not the end.
Has the Pandemic Affected You?
Get supportive advice here if you’re still suffering negatively from the effects of Coronavirus.